stuff going on right now.

I am still (f)unemployed. I apply to at least 10 jobs a day, I force myself sometimes, but it happens. I have had ONE interview since April - at Lush on Newbury Street, and they didn't call me back or return my phone call, so I am guessing I tanked that one. A few places have straight out told me via email that I am far too over-qualified for these jobs, but they don't realize that at this point I just need money so I can pay bills and buy gas and do exciting things such as buying new glasses.

I am really in a spot right now. I am applying to jobs in the Boston area, hoping that if I get hired I will no longer need to commute with a car. Gas prices are only going to get higher and there is no way I can talk myself into driving vs taking the bus.

I keep selling items in my storage space, realizing I hate the memories that connect with them and I really could use the cash.

BUT. If I don't see myself getting a job by late July, I am thinking it might be time to pack it in and call it a day for Boston. The things I moved here for aren't part of the equation anymore. School is unaffordable (and I have to pay them the $6,000 I owe before I can start classes again). Work is non-existent with no signs of improvement in the near future. Love life...I haven't had one of those in at least a solid year, and everyone in this city seems to know somebody else who happens to be friends with so-and-so and so on and so forth.

Therefore, I am setting a deadline for myself. If I do not have a job by July 31st, I am going to take the high road and find somewhere new to call home. It might be somewhere in New England, New York, Maryland...all I know is I can't go much longer living with 4 guys and not having any money. One very serious option is to sell my car and rent a room with my friend Casey. Another is to find a room down near Lissa.

I just don't feel a pull in any direction forcing me to stay or leave. I will have friends in places that I don't live regardless; I already have that situation and have accepted that I can't pack them and take them with me if I leave.

And beyond this whole ordeal, I need to figure out what to do with myself financially. As it stands, I am parking my car in secret undisclosed locations to dodge the repo man. I have so many collection calls a day that I don't bother to answer my phone unless I know who it is, and even then it's still 50/50. Rent is due in a week and I haven't even tried to cross that bridge yet.

I am almost tempted to find a job, work there until September and save enough money to move and then leave. I just want to get out of this rut and I am finding very few options outside of leaving the Boston area.

Input is always appreciated, even when I get defensive. I have too much pride to admit that I failed sometimes, and this is the biggest lump of failure I've had to swallow in a long time.




Oh and PS - I'm also allergic to bee stings. Think Robert Goulet.