Thursday, July 31

Those poor migrant farmers.

While looking for a missing plug today (I currently have 2 different sizes in and awant to even myself out), I found a 1903 mercury dime. This made me think 2 things.

1. How much is this thing worth? (The interweb says $1.25 - $1000.00. I lean towards the $1.25 with this condition.)

2. How many people were killed in WWI era for this dime? Or during the great depression?

I am too creepy for my own good.

Wednesday, July 30


Out of everything in my life right now, the one thing I hate the most is my SSRI discontinuation syndrome side effects.

Dear God, make me a bird so I could fly far far away from here.

Tuesday, July 29

Where will he get his chipotle bleu cheese bacon burger?

Bennigan's is out of business effective immediately!

I don't know what's worse - this, or the fact that I found out via a fwd from my sister of Perez Hilton breaking the story.

What will Butters do? Sad sad sad.

I want action tonight. Satisfcation all night.

The past week, my horrible sleep schedule has hit an extreme. I sleep from noon until 8pm or so, wake up and eat 1 meal, then repeat the cycle. Last night I forced myself into slumber at 5am and slept until 8:30am. Hopefully I can stay awake until midnight tonight and get back on a regular cycle.

I have the biggest craving for some form of breakfast, but the second I leave my room the temperature goes up 30 degrees and the entire house smells like asshole. Maybe I will just go down to dunkin and grab a sammich and some new litter for the kids.

Side note - remember when dunkin used to put the butter on your bagel for you? Why did they stop? It's so frustrating to get all the way home and see that my bagel has cooled off too much to melt the butter. Jerkoffs. ( say that word a lot lately. Hmm.)

Saturday, July 26


Makes me think.
Maybe it makes me think of you.

That was the last time I ever saw her-
through a shop window, sleeves to her elbows.
I walked past and kept on walking
and lit a smoke with my hands shaking.

She was something else

A few summers ago
we spent weeks in her room
just having sex and listening to jazz
and that was the life.

But I didn't know at the time

Blinds drawn at twelve noon
with daylight pouring through
projecting lines on her body

Move on, move on, move on
Smoke your smoke and move on

I should go back to
see if she's still there
standing like a statue

Tuesday, July 22

Thank you for being a friend.

I'm going to hell.

Jen: estelle getty died
Jen: poor sophia
me: i had her on my rotten dead pool
me: yes, thats the first thing i thought of.
me: ok now that i made sure my page is updated, im sad.

In case you aren't familiar, Rotten Dead Pool is a website where you pick 10 celebrities that you think will die within the next year. It's morbid and horrible and I've been playing for 4 years.

One down, nine to go.

Monday, July 21

workin' my way back to you, babe.

Dear internet,

How can I stay mad at you? You bring me so many joys. Watching Pet Shop Boys videos via YouTube, reading the same 12 posts on the bridge9 board over and over every week, playing bingo for hours on end in the hope of one day actually winning $2. I can't think of any other place that I could fill my days with this much multimedia from the comfort of my own bed.

That being said, you've been fucking me over lately. I got really tired of you giving access of my life to people who I don't want to be part of the big picture. I got equally irritated with the constant reminders of the people who like to make me feel like I will never be good enough. But then I ask...good enough for what? For these trivial people? Hit the road.

And then there was that stupid glimmer of hope that you gave me, internet. Remember that? When you made me think that all guys aren't typical and thanks to your help, this was going to be something productive in my life? Way to drop the ball on THAT one, information superhighway.

Nonetheless, I need you in my life. A vice is a vice, and you are mine.

Welcome me back with open arms and I will be able to forget everything in the past. Until it comes back to slap me in the face.

Love you.

Sunday, July 6


Jammy being the typical ham. He just can't get enough.

Me, so content to be heading out to meet Lissa in my little silver Tiburon that I affectionately named Gina. Little did I know that Gina and I would be parting ways in a matter of hours. More on that when I have the strength and mental stability to wrap my head around what happened.

(No, I didn't get in a crash, calm down.)

More from 2001.

Saturday, July 5

2001 was a hell of a year.

I finally got access to my old BME page and ca read about all the hijinx that went down in such a good period of time. Some highlights:

*point lick*
2001/01/07 05:43 strip clubs. whoa.

i had boobies in my face. i had a stripper bite my nipple. they whispered sweet nothings into my ears and didn't charge me. the crowd cheered for more. whoa. what has happened to me? i am now officially happy with my social life. *squirts lotion into some doods anal crevice* if you ever go to Smyle's, make sure to tell them its your birthday. youre in for a real treat.

fun with lotion and tattoos and stuff.
2001/01/08 23:51 snow storm. hot dogs. wrestling. moshing. what more can a girl ask for? ps i am stinky and have been awake since 2am.

im to blame. didnt want change. things cant stay the same way.
2001/01/15 01:56

key ingredients for a fun evening include:

going to kabuki and getting wayne the hibachi chef to prepare our dinner for us again.
watching all my friends including myself getting a little silly off the sake.
trading porn among friends.
going to the movies and having some strange man sitting in front of us, farting SO horribly that nobody could breathe.
when the farting man heard us all hysterically laughing and started laughing as well.
getting home before this horrendous storm started.
remembering that i cleaned my room and actually hanging up my jacket as opposed to throwing it on the floor for my dog to sleep on.

and that, my friends, is why i am single. *grin*

2001/01/18 00:53 friends going back to college amounts for massive amounts of fun. well, ok. he IS coming back friday night. but still, what are we supposed to do tomorrow? :D

played a boardgame from 1978 that involved flying amazing spaceships (or cardboard decorated like spaceships) and fighting for one piece of plastic. battlestar gallactica. craziness. something new to focus on...board games. who needs tattoos? we have anti-monopoly and 221 B Baker Street. and it is rumored that there is a buck rogers game floating around as well. *grin* i dont want to go home and do dishes and laundry.

balls. ok?
2001/01/21 00:04 why am i still sitting here? :|

and why are you still alive :\

kisses and hugs are all i want.
2001/01/21 18:01 when did saturdays become so un-fun.

hung out with some friends. ate food. played games. lifted weights (well, not me.) played more games. lifted more weights. had a really really bad panic attack that i still cant figure out what triggered. forced someone to drive me home in the middle of a snowstorm. slept until 5pm.

is this what it feels like to be half dead?

oh, brian and james: i love you guys for putting up with my noise constantly. you are my life support, whether you know it or not.

it's the limit.
2001/02/03 01:56 cro-mags. they make brian lose his shit. antidote too. and breakdown. and one life crew.

2001/02/06 08:24 yesterday could quite possibly have been the worst day in a long long time. here is a little time line so it is as appreciated as possible:

7:00am - wake up. need to be gone for work at 7:30, and someone else is in the shower. fall back asleep.
7:20am - wake up again, jump in the shower, dont bother washing hair.
7:28am - get out of shower, stumble for clothes. put on the same thing i wore to work on friday. who fucking cares? not me.
7:40am - leave for work with stepmom in car. backing down driveway, get stuck in solid ice/snowbank.
8:15am - after a half-hour struggle to get my car out of this predicament, stepmom calls a tow truck.
8:35am - tow truck came, pulled me out, handed me a bill that i still havent looked at yet. yay! we are on our way.
9:30am - arrive at work.
10:30am - receive a call from my boss in the other office-did i remember there is a meeting in a week that nobody has been notified about? did i type the minutes yet? did i do ANYTHING that i am expected to do? no. no. off to read my shorthand and type up 8 pages of meeting minutes, while avoiding looking out the window at the snowflakes that are falling.
12:30pm - order lunch. my one savior will be buffalo wings and a calzone.
1:00pm - everyone else is starting to head home from work...except me. im waiting for my lunch and frantically trying to finish typing up these board minutes so they can get mailed tuesday. lunch isnt here yet.
1:45pm - my boss went home but im still typing. wah. where THE HELL is my lunch?!? i call again and ask where it is. they say i am next up for delivery. say byebyebye to your tip, dood.
2:15pm - lunch arrives. calzone has garlic in it and buffalo wings only have sauce on one side of them. BOO to planet pizza.
3:00pm - finally the stepmother has the sense to tell me we are going home to "beat the storm"...the storm that has been beating us since 10am.
5:30pm - we have travelled 8 miles. help me.
6:45pm - the day is looking up, we are so close to home, i can almost smell my rank dog. just 2 or 3 more miles.
7:05pm - mile to go, and i get stuck on this tiny little hill. stepmom starts telling me how to drive, what i should do, i flip on her, turn the car off, leave it abandoned on the side of the road and storm off.
7:06pm - fall in the middle of the road. fight the tears. keep walking.
7:10pm - after trying for minutes to light matches that have been soaking wet since my great fall, i throw my matches (and my cigarette)into the snow and start screaming. keep moving.
7:15pm - some doods stop and offer me a ride in their big truck. "fuck off and fuck life" is my pleasant response. keep walking.
7:18pm - happy fun neighbor family is out in the snow with their dog, playing and whatnot. i dont even smile or wave. bleh. go die.
7:20pm - home. dog attacks me. "get away from me" is my reaction. sulk upstairs about my lack of cigarettes. sulk in general.
9:30pm - after letting everyone get in much of a bad mood as i have, i go to sleep.

i hope the strobe lights dont come on!
2001/02/18 01:23 countdown to birthday mayhem. feel free to give good suggestions for what to do. or bad suggestions. any suggestions. i love the titty bar. i love blonde strippers who kiss me at the titty bar. i DONT love girls with moles on their faces and attitudes worse than my cat when he's constipated. she can get jabbed in the eye with a fork. please.