Monday, November 29

My cat is getting fatter.

There, I said it.  She is almost at the 10lb mark and I am not happy.

I have 25 days to knit a bunch of stuff.  I still can't find my Christmas cards, my nativity set or my good address book.

On that note, I will now shower and contemplate what to have for lunch tomorrow.

Thursday, November 18

a glimpse into my mind.

I'm sitting at my desk and see an armored car pull up.  The driver gets out, and heads into our building, clearly to do a pick-up at our on-site bank.  A few minutes later, I see him walking out with a full bag. 


I say "Does this guy have any idea how easy it would be for me to take him out with ONE shot from a sniper rifle?!?  This guy is a moron...look at him!!!  It's almost too easy."

At which point I realized that I was saying this aloud.


Tuesday, November 16

Then and Now, Part 1

Kyra made a really inspiring post a few months back called "Then & Now".  As I sit here waiting for my spinach-stuffed chicken to bake and ponder washing my hair now or in the morning, I had a few little revelations of my progress in recent weeks/months.

THEN - I would sleep until 9am on workdays, 2pm or later on weekends, and loaf around until I was dying of hunger, which was solved by running to Dunkin or McDonald's.

NOW - I have my alarm set, even on weekends, and wake up on time!  I don't lay in bed wondering how much longer I can waste, but I jump out of bed, do 10-20 minutes of stretching/yoga, cook myself a REAL breakfast, sit down and eat, take my time to get ready and make it to my destinations on time.

THEN - I hid food in my bedroom.  Secret stashes of cookies, "protein" bars (tasty Luna bar, you can't trick me, you are dessert), Dunkin Donuts, crackers, Doritos.

NOW - I do not allow any food into my room except cat food.  I have plenty of water, seltzer, tea, but nothing that I would regret eating at 2am.

THEN - I gave up once I started sweating or once something started to ache.  I would consider that to be "accomplishing" something.

NOW - I know that if I don't push myself, I will become stagnant and never reach my full potential.  Not just physically, but on so many different levels.

THEN - I was interested in what was going on with everyone else, as a way to avoid what was going on with me.

NOW - I am allowing myself to be selfish, to think about myself, and not be concerned with things that I cannot control or that do not involve me.

I am also trying to keep these points in mind every day:

Very much worth reading.


Monday, November 15

seize the the throat.


How is it that even though I got a pedicure 10 days ago, my feet are peely like nobody's business?


Tuesday, November 9

Romper Room. Romper Stomper. Same difference.

I've read that some people need an "a-ha!" moment to motivate them to start working towards losing weight.  I thought that my moment was when I left Boston and after not owning a scale for years, I was disgusted to find myself weighing in at an obese 220 lb.  Through no fault of my own (read: moving away from an area with unlimited take-out food, bars, Dunkin across the street), I lost a LOT of that weight.  Then I got sick and lost another 20lb at a very unhealthy weight.  Needless to say, I gained a lot of that weight back.

So back to the "a-ha" moment.  Part 2.  On Halloween night, I was sitting in bed working on a crossword puzzle and realized I had misplaced my pen.  I looked all over my bed, in my purse, under the pillows, etc. but it was nowhere to be found.  Then I stood up...and it fell out from my gut.  UGH.  At that moment, I made an official commitment to work HARD to get myself beck into shape, the shape I was in not too far back, and to do it in a healthy way, closely monitoring what I do and not falling into despair.

Enter .  I know, you're all saying "you don't live in Boston anymore, dumbass."  But my friend Kyra, the trainer who runs the facility, also has a GREAT virtual training program.  Last week I got in touch with her and pleaded for guidance and advice.  Little did I realize that if you ask a trainer for advice, they will actually have a PLAN for you to follow.  OUTSTANDING!  So the official deconstruct/reconstruct project started this weekend.  I did a huge grocery shopping of "clean foods", most of which I had been eating already.  On Sunday, Kyra got in touch with me with my first week's schedule.

And yesterday, I did it.  I woke up at 7:15am (as opposed to the usual 8:30), did a half hour of Wii Fit to get myself awake, made myself a breakfast of 2 CT-farm fresh eggs, 1 piece of toast and 2 turkey sausages.  yes.  I woke up early voluntarily to do something I wasn't getting paid to do.  Then I went to work, ate the food I had packed for myself, went home, and did my first Kyra-planned workout. 
And it was HARD.
I mean...dripping sweat, yelling at myself for stopping at 15 reps instead of 20, blasting No Warning "Ill Blood" hard.  And I loved it.  By 8:45pm, I had already eaten all of my meals for the day, worked out twice, showered, and generally felt more productive than I had in months...possibly years.

And then today I woke up.

And I did it AGAIN.  I was out of bed by 7:20am, did 30 minutes of yoga, made my breakfast at home, didn't even think about stopping at Dunkin, and I look forward to going home and busting my ass on workout #2 and waking up tomorrow to do it all over again.

To be able to see results in the next week isn't anything I am thinking about.  Even to see results by New Years is a stretch.  But I know that I am feeling so much better about myself.  And feeling good with me instantly drives me to want to look better.  It will hurt to brush my teeth, and I will go through more laundry in 3 days than most people do in 2 weeks, but I am so glad to be getting back into MYSELF.  It is about damn time that I start being selfish and worrying about me, and my health, and my self-confidence.

Seriously.   .  Check it out.  get into it.  Get into yourself.  Get into those jeans you bought 2 years ago, because they are going out of style soon.

Saturday, August 21

Job requirements:

Must prefer the following:
-Rolling Stones to The Beatles
-DC to Marvel
-Jason to Freddy

Embraces change in their life. Thrives when surrounded by new options in life, whether it be food or city of residence. Monotony is not an option.

Can hold a conversation with my father.

General chivalry, including but not limited to: Holding doors. Picking up the check once in a while. Telling me I'm beautiful. Making the bed.

Sees potential in himself, me, and others. Nothing makes a person less attractive than when they start issuing criticism.

Realizes the importance of fidelity.

Using a crutch is a sign of weakness. If you aren't strong enough to support yourself, how can I expect you to support me as well?

Monday, May 3

Serenity now.

I need someone to tell me one of those bullshit "Nobody can hurt your feelings without your permission" quotes.

Trying to be fair to myself and making the world happy seem to be on polar opposites.

Time to step up and make the right choice.