My cat is getting fatter.

There, I said it.  She is almost at the 10lb mark and I am not happy.

I have 25 days to knit a bunch of stuff.  I still can't find my Christmas cards, my nativity set or my good address book.

On that note, I will now shower and contemplate what to have for lunch tomorrow.

a glimpse into my mind.

I'm sitting at my desk and see an armored car pull up.  The driver gets out, and heads into our building, clearly to do a pick-up at our on-site bank.  A few minutes later, I see him walking out with a full bag. 

ALONE.

I say "Does this guy have any idea how easy it would be for me to take him out with ONE shot from a sniper rifle?!?  This guy is a moron...look at him!!!  It's almost too easy."

At which point I realized that I was saying this aloud.

Oops.

Then and Now, Part 1

Kyra made a really inspiring post a few months back called "Then & Now".  As I sit here waiting for my spinach-stuffed chicken to bake and ponder washing my hair now or in the morning, I had a few little revelations of my progress in recent weeks/months.

THEN - I would sleep until 9am on workdays, 2pm or later on weekends, and loaf around until I was dying of hunger, which was solved by running to Dunkin or McDonald's.

NOW - I have my alarm set, even on weekends, and wake up on time!  I don't lay in bed wondering how much longer I can waste, but I jump out of bed, do 10-20 minutes of stretching/yoga, cook myself a REAL breakfast, sit down and eat, take my time to get ready and make it to my destinations on time.

THEN - I hid food in my bedroom.  Secret stashes of cookies, "protein" bars (tasty Luna bar, you can't trick me, you are dessert), Dunkin Donuts, crackers, Doritos.

NOW - I do not allow any food into my room except cat food.  I have plenty of water, seltzer, tea, but nothing that I would regret eating at 2am.

THEN - I gave up once I started sweating or once something started to ache.  I would consider that to be "accomplishing" something.

NOW - I know that if I don't push myself, I will become stagnant and never reach my full potential.  Not just physically, but on so many different levels.

THEN - I was interested in what was going on with everyone else, as a way to avoid what was going on with me.

NOW - I am allowing myself to be selfish, to think about myself, and not be concerned with things that I cannot control or that do not involve me.

I am also trying to keep these points in mind every day:

Very much worth reading.

xo

seize the day...by the throat.

QUESTION.

How is it that even though I got a pedicure 10 days ago, my feet are peely like nobody's business?

FUNK DAT!

Romper Room. Romper Stomper. Same difference.

I've read that some people need an "a-ha!" moment to motivate them to start working towards losing weight.  I thought that my moment was when I left Boston and after not owning a scale for years, I was disgusted to find myself weighing in at an obese 220 lb.  Through no fault of my own (read: moving away from an area with unlimited take-out food, bars, Dunkin across the street), I lost a LOT of that weight.  Then I got sick and lost another 20lb at a very unhealthy weight.  Needless to say, I gained a lot of that weight back.

So back to the "a-ha" moment.  Part 2.  On Halloween night, I was sitting in bed working on a crossword puzzle and realized I had misplaced my pen.  I looked all over my bed, in my purse, under the pillows, etc. but it was nowhere to be found.  Then I stood up...and it fell out from my gut.  UGH.  At that moment, I made an official commitment to work HARD to get myself beck into shape, the shape I was in not too far back, and to do it in a healthy way, closely monitoring what I do and not falling into despair.

Enter www.bostonbootycamp.com .  I know, you're all saying "you don't live in Boston anymore, dumbass."  But my friend Kyra, the trainer who runs the facility, also has a GREAT virtual training program.  Last week I got in touch with her and pleaded for guidance and advice.  Little did I realize that if you ask a trainer for advice, they will actually have a PLAN for you to follow.  OUTSTANDING!  So the official deconstruct/reconstruct project started this weekend.  I did a huge grocery shopping of "clean foods", most of which I had been eating already.  On Sunday, Kyra got in touch with me with my first week's schedule.

And yesterday, I did it.  I woke up at 7:15am (as opposed to the usual 8:30), did a half hour of Wii Fit to get myself awake, made myself a breakfast of 2 CT-farm fresh eggs, 1 piece of toast and 2 turkey sausages.  yes.  I woke up early voluntarily to do something I wasn't getting paid to do.  Then I went to work, ate the food I had packed for myself, went home, and did my first Kyra-planned workout. 
And it was HARD.
I mean...dripping sweat, yelling at myself for stopping at 15 reps instead of 20, blasting No Warning "Ill Blood" hard.  And I loved it.  By 8:45pm, I had already eaten all of my meals for the day, worked out twice, showered, and generally felt more productive than I had in months...possibly years.

And then today I woke up.

And I did it AGAIN.  I was out of bed by 7:20am, did 30 minutes of yoga, made my breakfast at home, didn't even think about stopping at Dunkin, and I look forward to going home and busting my ass on workout #2 and waking up tomorrow to do it all over again.

To be able to see results in the next week isn't anything I am thinking about.  Even to see results by New Years is a stretch.  But I know that I am feeling so much better about myself.  And feeling good with me instantly drives me to want to look better.  It will hurt to brush my teeth, and I will go through more laundry in 3 days than most people do in 2 weeks, but I am so glad to be getting back into MYSELF.  It is about damn time that I start being selfish and worrying about me, and my health, and my self-confidence.

Seriously.  www.bostonbootycamp.com   .  Check it out.  get into it.  Get into yourself.  Get into those jeans you bought 2 years ago, because they are going out of style soon.