I'm like Jared from Subway.

flower.

Every time I see your face
I get all wet between my legs
Every time you pass me by
I heave a sigh of pain

Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
Ill take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything Ill do to you Ill fuck you and your minions too

Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like youre underwater
Hairs too long and in your eyes
Your lips- a perfect suck me size

You act like youre fourteen years old
Everything you say is so
Obnoxious, funny, rude and mean
I want to be your blowjob queen

Youre probably shy and introspective
Thats not part of my objective
I just want your fresh young jimmy
Jamming slamming ramming in me

Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog Ill take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything Ill do to you
Ill fuck you til your dick is blue

What kind of fuckery is this?

-drunk.

-Having a conversation with Dan is like sitting in a sauna with my best friend. We laugh at random bullshit together and know that not many people could tolerate it. If I think that I said something and it was misconstrued, I don't have to be afraid to bring it up, and that is something I'm not used to. Biting my tongue and seething in confusion has always been modus operandi.

-What does Lionel Ritchie say in that random bridge in "All Night Long"? Is he throwing out a random voodoo hex at me? Jambo jambo...

-I'm still losing weight, and people are starting to notice! I'm down nearly 24 lb. since I moved here, and I re-invested my interest last week. I'm now trying to run on the treadmill 45 minutes a day, eating the bare bones -yet amazingly fulfilling- meals that I started slacking on, and switching it up from beer to something a little less...beer-belly inducing.

-I just flossed my teeth and mouthwashed for 15 minutes. I love my teeth.