Serenity now.

I need someone to tell me one of those bullshit "Nobody can hurt your feelings without your permission" quotes.

Trying to be fair to myself and making the world happy seem to be on polar opposites.

Time to step up and make the right choice.

The (still not too) grody adventure of the (no tacos allowed) cleanse - DAY FOUR

Passed the half-way mark today! The scoop:

TOTAL WEIGHT LOST: 3 lb. !!!

Foods today:
-lemon water
-blueberry almond smoothie
-detox tea
-Arbonne detox drink
-salad w/ ginger carrot dressing
-sunflower seeds
-guacamole on a flax pita
-3 slices salsalito turkey
-1 skim string cheese
-teriyaki chicken breast
-grilled zucchini with lime juice

Ok I completely strayed when I got home and ate non-approved foodies out of frustration. But it wasn't taco bell (which is all I wanted today), so I will chalk today up as successful.

Headache started around 9pm, not sure what brought that on. I didn't even really get hungry today until 3pm, when I realized I hadn't eaten my lunch yet. I just took an aleve (probably not ok for cleanse but eff it), finished a book and am going to finish off my last bottle of fiji before I go to sleep.

Three days to go...tomorrow is deli sammich day at work, I may possibly cave. We shall see.

The (almost hit) grody adventure of the (time-consuming) cleanse - DAY THREE

Finished my day 3 meals. The skinny:

WEIGHT LOST: 2.6 lb.

foodies:
-lemon water
-herbal detox tea
-oatmeal & almond milk
-basil cucumber lime apple juice
-blueberry raspberry almond milk smoothie
-sort-of super greens juice (1/2 a pear, 1/2 a cucumber, 1 lemon)
-1 pear

I sort of strayed from precise recipes, mixing raspberries with my blueberries for the smoothie, replacing celery with carrots in the super greens juice, and taking 1 pear out of the juice so I could eat it separately. I also skipped the coconut water again. If I ever drink that stuff, I will be amazed. But for the most part I am being amazingly responsible. I think knowing that I can go back to dairy on Saturday is a big part, but a lot of these new meal plans will stick with me. I could have one of these smoothies every day and be content.

Had a mini-scare this morning when I woke up, went to turn off my alarm and got dizzy and blacked out. I think I may have been a. super-hungry and b. sleeping very oddly/poorly since the lovely cat woke me up at 3:30am and threw me off. After that, I recovered and weighed in. Holy wow, I dropped 2lb since yesterday AM! I also dropped what looked like a box of crayons into the toilet. I haven't had any hunger pangs except for the usual "wow I really want a burger" or "taco bell sounds good about now." The things that I think about...tacos and pears.

Tomorrow's meals are all set - salad for lunch and chicken for dinner. I have some basil cucumber juice left from today to tide me over at work, and I am determined to wake up in time to make myself a smoothie before I leave. More to come tomorrow...

The (still lacking) grody adventure of the (not too bad) cleanse - DAY TWO

End of day two. Here's the scoop:

WEIGHT LOST: 0.6 lb.

consumed:
-12 oz. room temperature water & juice of half a lemon
-herbal detox tea
-raspberry & almond smoothie
-sunflower seeds
-detox chicken teriyaki & grilled squash
-1 slice salsalito turkey
-1 blueberry pancake
-Arbonne detox spa drink

I did have 2 little hiccups (the turkey and pancake) in today's menu. I really don't think that it's healthy to deprive yourself, it only leads to a huge binge in the end. Or at least it is in my case. I also made miso soup, which I found out that I hate. Gross. I will categorize that one with the broccoli arugula soup in "COMPLETE FAILURE" of my palate. The coconut water did not make its way into my body today, but I am bringing it to work with me tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to get that down.

I have a decent amount of energy, today I was wiped out playing catch after 15 minutes, but I assume that was because it was 90 degrees. I have a cute little sunburn though! I got overwhelmed and frustrated today when I realized I was hungry but hadn't accounted for the prep time needed for my lunch and would have to wait to eat for another hour.

I pee at least once every half hour. Finally pooped, all is well in that area (nothing explicit). No foul odors coming out of my pores except that garlic from the soup that I made last night. Tomorrow is day 3, I am expecting my weight lost to hit 1lb.

The (not-yet) grody adventure of the (so far peachy keen) cleanse - DAY ONE

Day one of meals is nearly complete - I am cooling my final meal as I type. Here is the rundown:

-12 oz. room temperature water & juice of half a lemon
-herbal detox tea
-blueberry & almond smoothie
-coconut water
-salad with ginger carrot dressing
-sunflower seeds
-broccoli & arugula soup
-Arbonne detox spa drink

I slept in today and started the routine at noon instead of 8am, so everything is delayed by 4 hours. So far, I really really liked the blueberry smoothie (with 1 scoop each progreens and whey protein), and the salad dressing was STELLAR - if you like ginger, I highly recommend this one. I HATE coconut water. It tastes like sugar and I want to throw it up with every sip. I may take that one out, it just does not want to be consumed.

I am peeing nonstop. I got a crazy bout of hunger around 3pm, I blame that more on shifting the time schedule that I had set up for myself. I also am not pleased with the garlic and onion aspects of everything. I am omitting it as much as I can but allowing it in tonight's soup. I don't have my full budget at home but I am pretty sure that it cost about what I estimated.

PS - In case you were wondering, I haven't pooped yet.

If you are curious, please feel free to ask me questions! Tomorrow I will start posting my weight loss as I progress through the week. I am expecting to lose 3 lbs. putting me at a number I haven't seen on a scale since 2003.

The (presumably) grody adventure of the (soon-to-be-launched) cleanse - PREFACE

As most of you may know, I've lost an assload of weight over the last year- literally. Unfortunately, as many people do, I plateaued after losing a little over 40 lbs. After trying not to dwell on this, I decided to take some action. I did some reading and investigating and decided to try out a cleanse/detox Gwyneth Paltrow does a few times a year. I like this program because 1. it only lasts a week and 2. I can actually EAT while on the program. (check it out here http://www.goop.com/newsletter/15/ ).

My game plan is to buy all the required ingredients Friday PM, start the concoctions that night and Saturday AM that the ball rolling. Along with the GOOP plan, I will be replacing her suggested herbal tea with Arbonne Detox tea and adding 32oz of Arbonne's 7-day detox drops to my daily water consumption. So far here are my observations:

-This seems like an expensive endeavor. By my calculations, I will be spending $120 on food, $30 on whey protein and ProGreens (blecch!) and $40 to get a juicer. However, I have become quite thrifty in my meal planning ways, so $190 may be the norm for a week's groceries for most people. It averages out to $9.05 a meal.

-Over 40 ingredients. I know it says "cleanse", but come on, Gwyn! Luckily I have a complete schedule for hour-by-hour meals, drinks, etc. so I will be able to (hopefully) prepare things the night before.

-Any time I mention "cleanse" to someone, they instantly want to know when I expect my bowels to give out. Hopefully this won't be too err...messy, but only time will tell.

I plan on blogging on my daily menus, progress, weight loss, health and general well-being feeling. Hopefully I last the full week, ending on Friday night!

busy being bored.

Alliteration at its finest there.

Slow night, I should be folding laundry but get so easily sidetracked. I keep thinking of random things to post, so this will stay up while they come back to me.

Why is it that Victoria's Secret undies are the most expensive but the elastics and detail always fall apart before any other brand that I've bought in my life?

I have a bike and ned to inflate the tires and don't know how. For all I know, they may be flat.

I need to go to IKEA if only to buy myself some more candles. I have no female friends to do this with. Any takers? Seriously.

*deleted random thought for privacy of others*

I sometimes think I like summer then I realize it's really spring and autumn that I enjoy. I LOVE winter though, it means Christmas, my birthday, visiting with my sister and lots of fun outfits to wear that I forgot about for 6 months!

Out of stuff for now.

...let it shine.

All my kids in a row! Sunflowers, tomatoes, mystery 1, mystery 2 and carrots

CARROTS!

MYSTERY...

MYSTERY...

TOMATOES!!

SUNFLOWERS!

I'm gonna let it shine.

After giving two of the seven seedlings to their new foster mama, Sasha, I have moved my remaining five duders into their own larger homes. Today, after a bit of poking around, I came to the conclusion that I have the following:

POT 1: Tomatoes! They smell so darn good.
POT 2: Sunflowers! I didn't know what they were until I saw the soft thorns on the stems and did a bit of homework. They are probably the fastest growers right now.
POT 3: Carrots! Most likely, Sash agrees with me that they were leafy like the tops of carrots. If so, I need to thin these guys out FAST and put them into the ground or a bigger pot.
POT 4: Dill? The sprouts seem very frustrated right now with all the rain and not having a chance to dry out, so I hope they last long enough to give me a hint as to who they are.
POT 5: Spinach or rosemary. This is the biggest mystery pot of all. I will have to just wait and see.

I forget how fulfilling it is to grow little guys from seeds and check on them every morning and evening to see what's been going on since I last visited. These sunflowers blew me away, I can't wait to separate them into their own pots and give them to people as gifts. I just need to find the perfect spot for them, sunflowers will always turn themselves so they face the east.

Photos soon, it's too dark now. they need their rest. sshh...

this little light of mine.

A few weeks ago (I believe it was Memorial Day weekend), Dan and I decided to plant a bunch of seeds. We set up dixie cups with some potting soil and planted the following:

-tomatoes
-carrots
-spinach
-dill
-rosemary
-dahlias
-sunflowers

We had 2 extra cups, so we did 2 mystery batches with leftovers.

After a week and a nice long sunny weekend with my dad tending to the little goobers, they were coming along nicely:

That was May 31.

Today I have success in 7 of the 9 cups! I tossed the 2 duds - the seeds were purchased over a year ago and kept in less-than-ideal conditions, so I was pleased with having ANY results, let alone 7 cups of plant shoots.

I have been able to determine by sniffing that 2 of the plants are tomato seedlings, and the leaves of another 2 cups make me think they are either dill or carrots. I can't tell yet, so I may have to wait another few days for a more fragrant growth spurt. The other 3 are mysteries, I am suspecting spinach and rosemary, I think the sunflowers and dahlias were quitters.

Now comes the emotional part - I have to get rid of some of these plants that I grew from tiny little nothings because I just don't have the room for them. Tonight I will try to swap them out into bigger pots and save as many as possible and give them enough light and sun and love.

And to keep them out of the hands of Floof. Rotten plant-eating jerk.

Boogedy boogedy boogedy.

Today Dan asked "what should we do?" and I somehow remembered a castle in Danbury he told me about a while back...so we went for a mini-field trip to Hearthstone Castle in Tarrywile Park.

http://www.dupontcastle.com/castles/hearthst.htm


Examining the fence that will be keeping us from getting into mischief:


Back door. There was a basement door to the left of this (pictured below):



Lots of good detail went into this place. I tried to get some good shots of the stained glass but the sun wasn't cooperating. Check out these windows though:



There was a creepy staircase inside that window. Once you get up close to the building, you realize just how eerie the situation is.


A view off one of the steeper ledges. Don't slip...


Having a moment on the ride home:

posi/negi

My day was a bit of a roller coaster today:

-bad weird scary dream
+woke up and told Dan about it. He had an equally odd dream.
-Jen's cat Henry was hit by a car last night. He didn't make it.
+Brotherhood fest 2009. Lots of people I haven't seen in AGES. Sum of All Fears reunion!
-Rob is officially in the hands of the man now.
+got my new jacket from Eddie Bauer (thanks mom!)
-the jacket is way too big
+but it's too big because I lost so much weight!
+I got a great idea for Aubri to come up for Brotherhood fest
-she can't get off that weekend, since she took off for the weekend after for our big visit.
+when we go see her, we can eat at Bobby's Burgers. mmmm. urp.

There were more, but those are the highlights.

I'm like Jared from Subway.

flower.

Every time I see your face
I get all wet between my legs
Every time you pass me by
I heave a sigh of pain

Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
Ill take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything Ill do to you Ill fuck you and your minions too

Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like youre underwater
Hairs too long and in your eyes
Your lips- a perfect suck me size

You act like youre fourteen years old
Everything you say is so
Obnoxious, funny, rude and mean
I want to be your blowjob queen

Youre probably shy and introspective
Thats not part of my objective
I just want your fresh young jimmy
Jamming slamming ramming in me

Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog Ill take you home and make you like it

Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of is
Everything Ill do to you
Ill fuck you til your dick is blue

What kind of fuckery is this?

-drunk.

-Having a conversation with Dan is like sitting in a sauna with my best friend. We laugh at random bullshit together and know that not many people could tolerate it. If I think that I said something and it was misconstrued, I don't have to be afraid to bring it up, and that is something I'm not used to. Biting my tongue and seething in confusion has always been modus operandi.

-What does Lionel Ritchie say in that random bridge in "All Night Long"? Is he throwing out a random voodoo hex at me? Jambo jambo...

-I'm still losing weight, and people are starting to notice! I'm down nearly 24 lb. since I moved here, and I re-invested my interest last week. I'm now trying to run on the treadmill 45 minutes a day, eating the bare bones -yet amazingly fulfilling- meals that I started slacking on, and switching it up from beer to something a little less...beer-belly inducing.

-I just flossed my teeth and mouthwashed for 15 minutes. I love my teeth.

Multi-vitamins make my pee look like the Hulk.

What's good? What ISN'T good, I say!

Last weekend went off without a hitch, except when I watched Blood Diamond while Dan slept and I proceeded to bawl my eyes out for 2 hours. Tough times in Sierra Leone, it's a hard pill to swallow. We ate at an AWESOME restaurant and I sort of fell in love with red wine.

Weekends are turning into fun times again. Next weekend I am anticipating a day trip to NYC and a Sunday trip to a psychic fair. I really miss Jen and need to see her, even if it's just for a quick drink in the middle of her birthday riot extravaganza.

The comfortable cozy little nook is still as good as ever. I think my advised plan of letting things work themselves out is paying off. That and the fact that homeslice is more interesting than anyone I've met in years. Conversation is stimulating and doesn't revolve around the same 3 topics of shows, tattoos and who went to which parties and went home with which person.

FUNNY STORY TIME!
Today at work an old man (80-85 years old) came to return a pair of boots with a broken zipper. He wasn't a tiny little decrepit guy either, he was at least 6 ft. tall and had black fingernails from some serious manual labor. As I processed his refund he said to me, "Those are some interesting earrings you've got there." I smiled and said that most people don't notice - he suggested I must watch a lot of Miami Ink. I corrected him by saying that I had tattoos before that show started airing. Then he hits me with, "My nipples are pierced." I smiled and giggled, assuming that at this point he was making fun of me.

But no. He was 100% serious.

How do I know this? Why, because he pulled up his shirt and showed me, of course.

I will probably have nightmares about those old-man droopy nippies for the rest of my life. I think he could tell that I was really uncomfortable and he pulled his shirt down and tucked it back in.

I wonder what his wife thinks of him doing that to people, as I'm SURE that this isn't the first time that he flashed a random stranger.


Boogedy boogedy boogedy.

Just cause she dance go-go, it don't make her a ho, no.

I have a soft spot on my head from head-butting last night. It seemed so right at the time...

This weekend should be good. Brunch tomorrow with the fam. Possibly an early afternoon nap, then I will do something interesting with my hair (maybe?), meet up with Danielson, head out for a night of undetermined fun - bowling? drinks? food? live music? Possibly all of the above? Then we will adventure on Sunday to IKEA to eat some delicious food and get me a hamper and a bath mat. I am limiting myself to spending $60 so let's hope that there is some hot deals in the as-is section.

I didn't really need to post that second part, I only wanted to update on the ouchy-ness of my head.

Also, I smoked last night and woke up this morning and felt gross - quitting may finally be a reality! Hooray!


helter skelter...

Southpaw grammar.

Mini-gripes:

1. Sure, my dad is having a bad week. That is no reason to yell at me and tell me to get a new job because I'm not scheduled for the next 5 days. I don't make my own schedule and I can't work whenever I feel like it.

2. I have been working some fabulous gloves for a fabulous boy and my stepmom decided to try them on and tore a TON of the finishing seams since they weren't completely finished yet. They don't belong to you, back off!

3. My boobs got smaller. This is not a good side effect of dropping weight. But I am down to the lowest I've been since late 2006.


Beyond that, things are going swimmingly. Possible trip to Boston this weekend, the next 5 days will rack up a lot of knitting, job applying and tread-milling. Happy with the steady constant of things and phone conversations.

Not for the faint of heart...

Tonight Pat posted this photo of Jammy being butt-raped by Ziggy. I am worried I may have to hold an intervention for his poor little kitty butthole.




Tomorrow I work (again - meh) and then go canoeing and possibly to a show in Wallingford. I am annoyed at work for scheduling me on the one day that I had requested off next weekend. At this rate I will be gone by Thanksgiving, if not sooner. I will just keep applying to more realistic jobs and hope that someone calls me back.

I had a ton of things to say in here and now all I can do is think about Christmas and how I don't want to do any shopping. This whole "no income" thing will probably be the deciding factor.

If I get to sleep
I'll be well rested enough
To get all shitty.

Oh baby, Lilly Munster ain't got nothing on you.

Today I realized that I don't know what happened to the liner of my favorite jacket. After a lot of internet-digging, I found a suitable replacement. Hopefully Santa Claus will be able to supply me with this much-needed fleecy warmth. I also need to find out how to get some Tocco Magico in my hair soon. I don't know if i can wait until Christmas. Meh.

I love when I re-discover my Halloween mixes and can nap while listening to Dokken and Nick Cave. 67 songs of spooky goodness. I sort of should be knitting today (I gave myself a deadline on 2 projects), but I love being in bed while the pets are sleeping and snoring with me. I also need to move stuff so that the treadmill can be set up for use, now that it's way too cold to walk for more than a mile at a time. Again, that will involve getting up and out of bed.

I suppose I will be a little productive today, I have to re-do my dad's resume.