Everything came up milhouse!

Today was kickass good. here are some excerpts and photos as needed.

I didn't go to bed until 5:30am (at least), but managed to wake up at 11:30am. This is a serious accomplishment. AND I didn't nap. I was tempted to, and I was laying with Floof for a bit, but no sleeping occurred.

Around 1pm or so I remembered that I needed to move my car. I had parked it illegally in a "permit only" zone. I feared the worst - ticket? A big yellow boot on my tire? Towed to the impound lot? I got to my car to see...nothing. The lovely Boston area ticket-issuing community looked over my car, but gave tickets to others. I swiftly moved my car back into the driveway, where it is safe from the wicked hand of the Boston Parking Devil.

I watched a few episodes of Kate & Allie on Netflix, and decided being without a TV is probably for the best right now. In between episodes, I cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher twice and made myself some lunch. Everyone knows that I love fast food more than I love...well, something. But I really need to utilize the food I have in-house.

I showered (yay me!) and met my TV-purchasing buddy at my storage unit. While waiting, I chatted with my dad, who seemed happy to talk but got on my case about job hunting... meh. He said I seem to be able to come up with a reason to not apply to anything. I shot him down and told him I applied to a bunch of places yesterday - namely New Balance, WGBH (local PBS station) and Sam Adams (yay!). Hopefully someone gets back to me next week.

The new owner of my Sony giganta-screen TV met me and loaded her prize into a van. I decided to poke around in my storage space to see if I could find my jewelry (see earlier entry on this one. Bring kleenex.), and low and behold I found a box that wasn't taped up! Anyone who has seen me pack knows that I wrap, tape and label EVERY SINGLE BOX and to find one sitting wide open was a great sign. I peeked inside and saw a few VHS tapes which could only mean one thing - BEDROOM ITEMS! A little deeper, I found my jewelry boxes, as well as a huge collection of toys that had gone MIA. I called Jen to update her on this amazing find and was on my jolly way to the grocery store.

Aaah...the grocery store. I think Lissa knows better than anyone else what it's like to shop with me. I always start in the paper goods/cat food area, work my way through the middle aisles, then produce then frozen. Trust me, this makes sense. If you start where the entrances are (produce, frozen food, bakery and dairy), everything will get warm/squished/melty/gross by the time you are ready to check out. So I stuck to my list (another Laura quirk) and picked up cat food, sammich-makings, milk, a box of on-sale pasta, trash bags, gloves (you'll see why in a bit), and some cheapy one-serving ice creams. Portion control is so under-rated. The sales that I came across knocked me over. My favorite cookies were 50% off! Rice crisps were $1.49 !! A HEAD of romaine lettuce was 99 cents!! I walked out of there with 5 bags of groceries for $40. I'm still amazed with myself.

After three trips up and down the stairs I managed to unload the groceries, a bag of dry cleaning that needs to be added to before I drop it, some clothes and the box of goodies from storage. The night has been spent in shifts of Kate & Allie, putting things (sort of) away, cleaning the kitchen, reading, and plotting the downfall of those who try and stop me.

Cleaning the kitchen was...interesting. I was in CT for 5 nights, and came home to a dishwasher half-full of dirty dishes and a sink so overflowing with filth that I couldn't even fit a little cat dish to fill with water. I decided to leave if for a day to see if anything was done...but no such luck. So today I took care of the dishes, scrubbed most of the counters (COVERED in random spills), emptied out the fridge (minus a few things that were questionable and I don't want to step on toes), took an ice pick to the three inches of water growing in the freezer (FUN!!! I may offer it as something for guests to play with) and eventually I knew I had to face the trash can.

Before I left, we had run out of contractor trash bags for our gigantic 50-gallon trash barrel we use for all the kitchen garbage (read: stinky). As it is, the trash can smelled like frat vomit, so the last thing it needed was direct exposure to the cause of stink. I can't figure out who started it, but by the time I got home, there was a pile at least up to my chest of trash, and lots over over-spill all around. There were bugs. It was a bad scene. So I put on my gloves, grabbed some smaller draw string bags, and went to work. Six bags later, I had come across the following:
-banana peels
-onions
-stuffed peppers, rotting away
-blood dripping from meat packages
-tomatoes
-rotting burgers or chicken patties or something similar
-enough soda cans to fill my gas tank if cashed in for $.05 deposits

After completely emptying the trash barrel, I put it on the porch to air out (and maybe to hide it so nobody will fill it up again for a few days until it is stink free).

Now that my life is cleaner, I can eat my rotini with mushroom & green pepper sauce and pecorino without a care in the world. sigh.


Oh and some photos from the day:

The aftermath of my trash-bagging. There was some that I couldn't reach without falling down the stairs, I will conquer it in daylight.





One of the finds in the box I took back from storage. Ohhhhh yeah....

when she called my sneakers tennis shoes, I knew she was from the west coast.

I'm trying to get all the neediness out of my system by listening to songs just up to the brink of the 24 hour rule. I Am The Avalanche is playing across the street from me and I am dumbfounded by the luck of this show.
1. location. I can sit on my porch and drink during the first three bands, then wander down to the show, look for a spot to watch the band but not get clobbered by sobbing 18 year olds, and then head to the Model or back to the porch to enjoy the rest of the evening.
2. date. As One Fest is also this weekend. Sure, I would love to see Underdog etc., but I am definitely feeling socially awkward and outnumbered at this event.
3. cost. One of my most steady reliables can guarantee that I won't have to spend 50% of my current life savings to get in to this show. (it I was to attend As One, it would cost me gas, liquor, entrance fee, food, etc.)
4. others in attendance. Anyone who would have made my night a bumout and motivated me to go back home will be in CT. I can relax and be myself.


Also, it's raining today. Who wants to drive to CT in the rain? Not this kid.

CNN is whack.

Dear Chinese earthquake,

Please sit down. You're blocking my view of the cyclone in Myanmar.

Love,
me.

nothing. really.

Things going on:

-I was laid off 5 weeks ago due to "trust issues". Still not sure what that means. The guy who lives next door to me took my job within 8 hours. No exaggerating. Being best friends with the boss definitely has its perks. My stuff from my desk has been sitting in my car since April 9th...I just don't want to take it out yet.

-Newbury Comics is also fighting my unemployment claim. The didn't give me any severance or form of income, so minus cleaning out my savings accounts and the $600 tax stimulus, I have had no income for 5 weeks. I'm down to ehh...$100. Let's see how I pay rent in 2 weeks. Should be interesting...I'm open to any suggestions. Scratch-offs aren't working, Jefferson was dead on when he called them my ticket to perpetual poverty.

-I have 12 separate credit card collection companies calling me for money that I don't have. You read that right. TWELVE. So if you've been calling me and I don't answer, that's why. It's become so annoying that I am now at the point of turning my phone off all day, then checking my texts and voice mails at 4am.

-In addition to these credit cards, I have the following bills: storage unit full of all my furniture that I can't fit into my current apartment, car payment, car insurance that doesn't exist right now (so please don't deface my car or I'm fucked and you will be too) - once I pay the balance of $3200 I am back on the road, parking tickets (if I park on a city street, I will get a big yellow boot on my tire), Northeastern tuition (they call me 2x a day too)...a few others that are slipping my mind too.

-My TV is broken. When moving into a different room, I dropped it and somehow severed the cord and now it sits in my room as a prop. I watch DVDs on my lappy and go into Matt's room to watch Lost. I suppose this could be considered a +, but I just don't see it.

-I am single. I have jealousy issues. Don't ask. Sit on it.

-I have no health insurance as of Friday, which means I am breaking some uber queer MA state law. I will be spending tomorrow getting my drugs, because I haven't had them since Thursday.

-Lissa is giving me the silent treatment because I blew her off a few weeks ago. Understandable, but sucks nonetheless. More to say on this but I really don't want to dwell and get sad.

-I lost my jewelry boxes when I moved in the winter and I just realized it at 2am. generations of my family's jewelry is now MIA. (this is what finally drove me to cry for the first time since I got fired.)

I am struggling to think of positive things I've got going on right now, but so far it's this:
+Floof sits next to me all day long in my fortress of solitude
+I have been making a lot of crafty things
-the boys (and my friends) all call me the best second grade artist in town. Ouch.
side note: maybe I will make a tribute to Jor-el and Lara that I can hang in here. totally fitting. If you get that reference, get at me. We will drink beer. You will probably have to buy.

ok back to business:
+Jammy is a little less wild, and doesn't bite nearly as much
+my IKEA plants are starting to blossom in the window, when Jam doesn't knock them over
+I have been minimizing the clothes/crap in my life and am trying to thin everything out. I drop things at clothing/shoe/book/etc drop boxes and it makes me feel better to know someone else it going to be excited to get some never-worn apple bottoms.

Tomorrow I'm going to put up the photos of my mommy, I'm really hoping that will help me pull myself together and stop being sososoooo sad and miserable.

Or I will just make a tribute to Kryptonians. That seems much more likely.

an open letter to alcohol...

Dear booze,

This morning I woke up with the worst sour stomach I've had in ages. I don't get it - when did we get to this point in our relationship? I realize and will acknowledge that I haven't always been faithful. I prefer to think of it as variety, but I never consider the "quality over quantity" factor. Lately you make my sick to my stomach. I can't say that I haven't had these feelings in the past, but when they revisit me it just stays as a constant reminder of how blatantly cruel you can be.

Does it amuse you to make me into a social Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? I invite people over, then sneak away from them and go to bed...who wants to be friends with a person who does that? I just took a long shower to try to wash away the memory of you. Unfortunately, I had a glass of milk before my shower, forcing a lovely vomit-induced reminder of how you really feel about dairy products.

I think it may be time for us to take a break from each other. We both know that I've said this before, and it may only last for a few months, weeks, days or hours, but I really need to re-evaluate our relationship and approach this from a new angle, with a clear mind and a full belly.

Now if you don't mind I am going to try to sleep this one off and hopefully not be reminded of things I broke - including promises.

I knew you'd be gone as soon as you could. And I hoped you would.

Crap crap and more crap.

My uber-crush turned into an uber-disappointment, how surprising. I mean, it was completely unlike every other guy I know or put any effort into. At least I got a case of beer out of the deal, I suppose?

I got really sad today remembering how shitty of a year it's been for a lot of people I care about, myself included. Hopefully my garbage and drama is finally wrapping up this weekend and I can finally go on to be myself and learn to be less of a dumbass.

I'm grinding my teeth a lot.

I hate that I have to go into a room and not know what to expect or what to face and be angry from the moment I step foot inside, and then somehow go to work and function. Luckily drinks will be served promptly after work and I will be getting tattooed on Sunday and seeing good friends for the next few weeks.

The love of my life comes home for a few weeks and I don't know where to begin on the excitement/stress/build-up this is going to give me. The last time we were together, I broke bones in my hands and my feet and made a typical fool of myself.

stuff...

-why don't some boys ever kiss? weird.

-how much of the population these days drinks tap water?

-I have an uber-crush.

knitty knit.

Some progress on Christmas gifts. I had a dream that it was nearly Christmas and I had nothing ready, so I had to go shopping last minute. Horrible.

"What does that mean?"

I'm going to start telling people that I got my chestpiece as a tribute to Seinfeld. It's too much of a pain in the ass to try to explain to everyone.

Sometimes I read the "missed connections" on craigslist and hope that one if for me. Then I remember that I never leave the house, so nobody could spot me and feel like they missed out on something.

Knitting at 6am while watching Sesame Street is totally healthy, right?

Comings and goings, ebbings and flowings...

Summer gardening has become a fabulous hobby. I gave my first two ripe tomatoes to my two best girls. Someday thy will hopefully see eye to eye and we can feast on the bounty together. I made a pesto out of my basil, and it is sitting in the freezer waiting for the winter when I really want something fresh and summer-y to eat. The peppers are starting to grow, and are just too cute for words. Once they turn red, I need to come up with something good to make from them. Tomorrow I will pick the red tomatoes (there are 2 more), and make a pot roast or a stew. Something hearty and healthy and fresh.

Knitting took a break so far this week in exchange for ... nothing.

If I forget between now and Christmas, I would like a dehydrator and a pressure cooker/canner so that I can become a bit more self sufficient. My "bad foods" shelf is nearly empty, so there will be plenty of room for canning and dehydrating. Next step - clean out the fridge and defrost it.

The start of a scarf...maybe?

I figured since I'm not working, I might as well start some of my holiday projects. I have a few half-finished scarves of different colors, and I need to start working on an afghan for on of my lovely ladies...but I won't start that until she knows the sex. So for now, I will try to finish some of these scarves, and be a good gift-giver.

Here is one that I started last night rather than work on my other projects...typical me.

a typical day in the life...

I left my house to pick up my car (costing me $751.35 for new brakes. Not cool) and right before I left, I made sure to water my little tomatoes...only to be greeted with this 10 minutes later.

migraine.

I've been detoxing myself from Celexa, and it gives me thee worst migraines you could ever imagine. Reading about other people's withdrawal symptoms online, I am NOT looking forward to the next few weeks. Up until now I would take half a pill when the headaches were bad, but now I am just going to try to go as long as possible without that half a pill.

Moving on. If you had $5,000.00, what would you do with it? I am actually being a good girl and paying off a lot of my bills. I am tired of ignoring phone calls because I know they want my money. And if I have any leftover, I want to go visit James in Norway. That reminds me, I should renew my passport.

I really should start to write down the funny things I say at the bar. A recent conversation:

Jen: I think he's fighting with his girlfriend.
(at this point I went to the ladies room to investigate)
me: yeah, some girl is screaming at him. Go check it out...
Jen (upon her return): Ok I saw her, the girl in the booty shorts.
me: You mean that Glad trash bag she put on?

It really isn't nearly as funny now that I read it.

wallet.

I woke up this morning and struggled for a few hours trying to remember what his wallet looked like. Finally it came back to me. It was black leather, possibly man-made materials and a big embroidered iron cross was on one side. Two metal snaps were an upgrade from velcro. Those metal snaps wore holes in all his pants - two lonely symmetrical holes. Those holes were always on the outside of his right back pocket, he wore his wallet in that pocket with the snaps facing out, preventing awkwardness when he sat down.

There was a cheap chain attached to the willet with a flimsy clip that always got stuck on out seatbelts when he sat in the passenger side. When the clip finally gave out, I bought him two replacements for a gift. I think it was Christmas. The length of chain was the key, and I never got a chance to sneak a measurement. The other end of the chain had a leather loop he could attach to his right front belt loop. It was more of a security (and forgetfulness) measure than a fashion statement.

I wonder if he has upgraded to a more acceptable couture wallet. It wouldn’t seem acceptable to approach the New York society with a wallet chain...it would seem too simple for them.

I’m not sure what makes me more upset - trying to come to grips with the fact that I’ve lost the person, or realizing that soon I’ll start losing the memories and the details. Is this like “Beaches”, when Hillary starts ripping apart her beach house trying to find a photo of her mother’s hands? I’m at a loss...

you're so typical.

I was pumping gas this morning, and saw a VERY attractive guy walking by in a t-shirt, and full sleeves. As he went into the gas station to pay, I unzipped my hoodie just enough to give myself a little cleavage, and stared at him as he walked back to his car...only to notice he was driving a taxicab! My dreams all came true for a brief instant. Then I hopped back in my car and faced my reality. Not quite as fun as the thought of hopping in that cab...

the internet is so smart.

Well, I took a career quiz today, and it said:

"You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to stimulate your senses and your mind, without having to be involved with lots of people. You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be involved deeply in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others at all costs.

You trust what is certain. You only like new ideas if they can be practically applied to the situation. You value what is real. You use your common sense. You like to utilise the skills you have instead of learning new ones. You are very specific and detailed when writing or talking to others. You follow directions well. You like things to be laid out for you to do instead of working them out for yourself. You like decisions to be made. You don't like things to be left in limbo. You like to know what you are getting into before you commit to something.

You like to focus on the here and now. You enjoy completing projects. It is important for you to achieve and succeed. Therefore, you believe in working hard and playing later. You like to set goals and work towards them."

Some careers suggested:

Novelist
Photographer
Vet
Medical Technician
Paralegal
Geologist
Marine Biologist
Graphic Designer
Online Content Developer
Webmaster
Computer Security
Producer
Computer Programmer
Technical Writer
Systems Analyst
Meteorologist
Artist

Now, I can look at this list and cut it down just by knowing what I will be bored doing. this leaves me with:

Novelist
Photographer
Vet
Geologist
Marine Biologist
Graphic Designer
Producer
Meteorologist
Artist

I think I need to start doing a bit of writing, and maybe see where it takes me, maybe send things in somewhere...I'm at a bit of a standstill now. crud.

word em up.

ATTN: you people who owe me money. You know who you are...stop ignoring me.

To people who seem to be ruining my days...stop being selfish. Try ruining someone else's. Like your parents. I'm sure they are very disappointed in you and what you've made of yourself.

Also, claiming "blissful ignorance" or "poor me" to justify your actions doesn't float. You aren't a dumbass, you haven't been hit with a lifetime of misery and sorrow, you're from the suburbs and things could be a LOT worse.

Morrissey didn't write those songs with you in mind.

random observations.

-All boys cheat. Really, I promise. All of them. James Garvey is the only one that I can think of who never has. Maybe the fact that I'm friends with guys and they seem comfortable enough to give me the play-by-plays of their sex life makes me a little more aware of this than other girls? If I try to bring it up to other girls I know, they will either:

a. say that I am a bitter jaded old cat lady

b. turn angry, defensive and say I'm lying or

c. get sad and realize they've been cheated on

-Why does facebook need to let me know when people are broken up by notifying the entire public with a little picture of a broken heart? What a bum out.

-I'm having one of those downhill moments in life when I become astoundingly disappointed in people that I consider my friends. When the phrase "I expect that sort of behaviour from xxxx, not you" dances through my mind over and over again, it's time to start hanging out solo.

-Is there an easy way to tell if a lobster is male or female? I hate referring to them as "it".

-New sofa tomorrow. Floof is very excited. She has been saying goodbye to the bit of carpet that she will no longer have access to...

Does that make me a bad breaker-upper?

I sometimes feel like I am slowly evolving into Elaine Benes. Not so much in the casual sex unable to keep a commitment with a boyfriend way, but more in the irritation with the workplace. How often do people need to celebrate life activities? We have get-togethers for the following:
-first day
-last day
-birthday
-anniversary at the office
-going on maternity leave
-engagement
-visitors in the office
-launching a new product

I am waiting for someone to walk in and start singing "get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well." Honestly, I could care less if it's your first day, or your last day, or if you are about to go squeeze a child out of your loins. None of this has anything to do with me, or the large can that you received from the Popcorn Factory. I get genuinely angry and annoyed that these people, all salaried and not hourly, are wasting 2-3 hours of their day to reminisce about the tight bond that was formed over their 8 months of employment here. If you don't know where I live or what kind of beer I drink, then you were never my friend.

Also: this coming weekend will be composed of a beach, a puppy, salt water taffy, an AK 47, and lots of smiles.